Wednesday, June 30, 2004
********************

i shld be in bed.
thanks to da guy who called
to tell me abt training on fri
while i was in slumber.
now im W I D E awake.

i have to slp.
i'd try to slp.


desuetude 1:59:00 AM


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Tuesday, June 29, 2004
********************

new pics!!
::280604
::jing+win
::hopichalet
::hongkong


hk trip was fine.
chalet n sentosa, fun.
first day of sch was grt.

i havent yet mingle with pple in my course.
i think i can only click better with da malays,
not those chinese girls.
at least not pple i wld hang out with.
oh, and today was first day of lesson in botanical gardens.
not that bad.
i kinda like it though.
mayb coz i dun like e crowd i see in poly.

dyed my hair again.
its purple this time.
i like da diff tones of it.
but i think its gona be another
'fade off soon' colour.
well, i'll juz get another colour then.
dats wad i've been doin anyway.
mom havent see it.
hopefully she wun scream
stepdad was like, wah u go to sch like that?

anyway, i'd be gg kukup tmr.
gota be in sch damn early.
6.45am
i dun mind being late.
and i can skipped da whole thing
slp at home. hahaaa
and will reached sch at abt 7.30 in da evening.
will be gg with da yr 2s as well.
hopefully they will be fun, easy-going.

im off to bed.

desuetude 4:52:00 PM


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Sunday, June 20, 2004
********************

pics uploaded
:: audrey+win

day was great!
haven really pack my stuffs.
airport in abt 3 hrs time.

i need a break,
away from you.

desuetude 3:12:00 AM


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Saturday, June 19, 2004
********************

pics uploaded
:: foc

meetin aud tmr.
gon catch a show.
and duno do wad.
lazy to go for class.
shall miss it.
shall see abt it.
fun tmr.

desuetude 2:43:00 AM


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Friday, June 18, 2004
********************

back frm camp.
met interestign pple.
my face's chao ta.
my tanned's nice.
im lazy to blog.
i need to pack again.
gg hong kong on sun.

desuetude 3:54:00 PM


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Monday, June 14, 2004
********************

say u aint bothered with da rumours.
why r u still talkin abt it.
its wad they say,
but do they really noe?
dont talk to me anymore.
u always say da same things.
i can remember ur lines, most of it.
and da things we talk abt, are always da same.
everything's da same.
yeah, but win's nt da same,
its true i've changed.
dont pple change?
does my personality reflects clearly in my appearance?
oh, and u too,
changed drastically, ever since u got rised n dat vehicle.
i dislike da way u r now like da way u dislike da way i m now.
use money to get me out?
'i pay u 300bucks [*or was it 350??] for a night out.'
its quite a great deal for some girls.
no thanks.
alone, i'd rather be.
u claimed u were juz kidding.
but u joke abt it in every phone conversation.
mayb its amusing to those women whom u associate with,
not in my case.

dont ever say u understand me.
its ok if u tell pple u dont know me.
i wished i nv knew u.
bitter sweetness.
dats da contradictions u give me.
i can nv be happy with u for long.

mistake.
superficial.
leave me alone.

desuetude 12:55:00 AM


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Friday, June 11, 2004
********************

i had a nightmare dis morning.
i always dream in da morning when da sun's already up.
i dreamt abt walking rocky,
and he was running down da slope towards this white subject.
then i heard rocky barking in pain.
i retracted da leash, yeah, he was on leash
but i juz let him run.
anyhows, i realised dat white subject is a
miniature 2 headed white wolve(s).
how uncanny.
we ran back into urban pooch.
ok, i dont know why i ended up in urban pooch.
mayb its tellin me
i shld bring my dog for grooming.
*lol
rocky was maimed.
and i cried and cried and cried.
i really did cried.
is it tryin to portray
dat im gonna lose someone or something
dat i hold dear to?
it better not be.

i've been havin kooky dreams.
outlandish morning dreams.

im apathetic to go for class later.
-shrugs.

desuetude 6:46:00 PM


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cldnt wake up today.
cabbed down to meritius mandarin to meet up with yoke munn.
went to da reception counter to ask for directions to da studio.
da unit no. 302-24.
so we wondered which level it is at.
den i figured, there was an typo error.
it shld be # and not 3.
hmm wad an error.

anyway, had our portfolio taken.
chat with those pple there
while waiting for yoke munn.
funny pple. cute too.

i dyed my hair again.
da colour faded.
dont like it, find it too blonde.
now im having ash green colour,
or something similar.

there were really layers n layers
n more layers of powder on my face.
i wiped them off thrice after da shot.
came home washed thrice.
and now, i still feel those stuffs on my face.
those powders cause me to have red spots on my face.
thanks.
i've gotta do my mask tmr.
yes, im vain.

-pics uploaded in:-
rockk
zeffhunt
winn
folio

desuetude 4:03:00 AM


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Wednesday, June 09, 2004
********************

do me a favour
would u sing me this to me slow?
cos im thinking its my song
do me a favour
would u tell me when to let go?
cos i think im holding on
would u do it for me?
cos im playing for keeps

tell me tomorrow has come
with open arms
if u say its time to move on
then i'll stop holding on
if u say that its time for moving on
time for moving on

do me a favour
would u tell me which way is up?
cos i dont know how to quit

do me a favour
cos im playin for keeps

desuetude 6:59:00 PM


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Tuesday, June 08, 2004
********************

mom woke me up at 10.28
some lady called me up frm NP.
told me to collect da acknowledgement letter
gotta go sch tmr.
also to collect my tertiary card.
anyone gg back to sch tmr ?!

quite alot of things to be done tmr.
glad tt theres no class tmr too.
or else i'd be tired.

wad's pleasing to e eye
in e delusion of my sight
is not what i find when i reach into e light
i have lost my mind
im walking thru time
deluded as e next person
pretending n hoping to find
that distant peace of mind
i dont know
who does know
there is no
where to go

its not so simple as i try to wish
but then again what is?
there is no other worthy quest
so on i go.

i like being at home.
everything's at ease.
been receiving calls with withheld no.
wld u mind holding on for a little while longer on da fone?
its irritating to walk there
hear my mobile 'sing' for a while.
da call's hung before i get there.
i do need time to walk to my mobile.

desuetude 8:35:00 PM


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class was great today.
da instructor was utaka?
is dat his name ?
da guy in lightyears acting as shingo.
he's good.
and he looks better off screen.

im feeling empty.
nothing pleases me these days.
there isnt really anyone i can talk to.
i've got a problem with myself.
i've got to overcome it.

sometimes,
its not that i cant be bothered.
its just that, why shld i?
and how shld i?

detest me all u want.

desuetude 1:24:00 AM


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Monday, June 07, 2004
********************

yoke mun is sick.
take care gurl.
get well soon,
i wana see u with me in da nx dance class yeah?

needless to say,
im attending class alone,
for da first time.
hopefully today's da guy,
don, sean, wadever his name is.

i cant seem to remember pple's names nowadays.
guess they aint captivating enough.

desuetude 6:22:00 PM


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have u ever care abt how i feel?
all u do is open that biggest hole on ur body.
you just want ur pride.
so u put da blame on me,
and ripped my fragile little heart.
ur words to me,
so bitter so harsh.
it wld be very sweet of u
to keep ur mouth closed shut.
im not asking much.

you know me oh so well.
but thats nv the case.
u've got e upper hand.
things juz gotta bend.
its a pleasure,
to know im a bitch to you.
i've nv quite like talkin to you,
btw, do u know?

right from the start,
u shld knw u shldnt be expecting too much of me.
right from the start,
u know da storyline pretty well.

**terrible feelings of guilt.
recounting e atrocities committed.
nv want things that way.
but life makes it this way.
yet, who is to blame.
me, just me.
e one who is unable to withdraw from mistakes.

asking for forgiveness reminds me of a thought,
and i cant purge it frm my mind.
it is a never ending cycle,
with no way out.

this entry seems a lil.....
queer i wld say.
they are juz bits and pieces of hw im feeling.
being/feeling happy, makes up da most of me.
win is so free. [=

desuetude 1:48:00 AM


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my tatt is killing me.
its no longer the pain.
its da itch.
good sign though.
coz its healing.
and i've been peeling,
when im nt suppose to.

dance class tmr again.

theres so many things i wana say.
duno where to start.
duno how to start.
im dropping da idea of saying.

desuetude 12:12:00 AM


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Saturday, June 05, 2004
********************

i cant be bothered.
think wad u want.
mean, yes.
bitch, yes.
ass, yes.

desuetude 6:07:00 PM


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Friday, June 04, 2004
********************

i thot life wld bit much more interesting nw.
but, its somehow a lil routine.
nth occupies me except dance classes?
oh, can my tatt juz heal faster?
i cant blardy move much in class!
its depriving. hah.
but lesson today was great.

went for zeffie hunting dis afternn.
so tiring.
still no sight of him.
poor doggie,
i wonder what has he been eating.
or probably eaten nth at all
since sunday.
zeffie, get urself VISIBLE to us!

gotta run errands tmr.
meetin jaz in da early morning
before heading sch,
[win still doesnt knw hw to get to sch.]
to get to sch for da life sci shit.
apparently, we dont even knw if its on,
and da time of it.
if not, we'll juz go there
to pick up our tertiary card.
nt exactly a wasted trip ?
after dat, gotta go get my new passport.
and down to sg immigration to see if my SP is done.
doubt so, have yet to recieve da letter.
if not, i cant stay in sg after tmr.
such a hassle.
im gon' be an illegal immigrant.
catch me if u can.
oh, stop da crap.

i shld be gg to bed.
i hope i wun be late.

desuetude 1:38:00 AM


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