Tuesday, March 30, 2004
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juz finish a reg. pan pizza. was lazy to buy lunch n craving for a pizza. so i picked up da line n pressed 62353535. hah.
i read her blog n dat blog. haiz. i din expect it to be like that. shall nt elaborate.
today, i experience something i thot i wld nv have a chance to. coz normally i only see it in drama serials. usually involving a guy n a ger, and usually after that, feelings became stronger. noe what im talkin abt? haha. it is, to be trapped in da lift. lolz. but too bad, i wasnt trap with someone i was interested, but with a paranoid woman. she looks so. and she acts so. as i was standin at da side where da emergency button is, told me to press it. one funny thing is that, i din even think of pressing it? until she said so. haha. so i did, press n let go, twice. we got some response a while later. at that point of time, feel as though im filming. wahahaha. time was passin slow, we din chat, not at all. besides, i was too lazy to talk. abt 15 mins later, i got tired standing [ was wearing heels] so i moved to da back n sat down. took out my fone, played game. haha. nex things is, dat woman headed for da E button n kept pressin it. hw annoying.
i was trapped for 45 mins.
for da whole time im in office, i kept on feelin vibration, imaginary vibration. im waiting to recieve someone's msg.
desuetude 12:35:00 PM
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Monday, March 29, 2004
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im too much of an individualist to bother with true equality most of e time. in effect, independence n diversity are my hallmarks as i search for new lifestyles and fresh ways of doing things. i have little regard for tradition or authority and, although people might admire me for my radical ways, partners often find it difficult to keep up with my changing ideas n moods. i should not take on commitments n responsibilities that look likely to become burdens instead.
downright unpashable, my 'habit' is kicked.
desuetude 5:14:00 PM
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Sunday, March 28, 2004
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lookin into e mirror,
caught by surprise,
to see a face lookin back at me.
if's im someone's bad dream,
i feel sorry for them.
eventually, this dreamer would,
awaken into a sunlit world.
and i, would vanish,
like e last dark tendril of candle smoke.
desuetude 8:05:00 PM
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slpt till four plus today. awaken a few times by calls.
e hse lizzie my dog
played n
killed las nite is
still under my computer desk. i dun dare to pick it up. i think i'll juz wait for its fellow mates to visit it, to see it till it decomposes. and i realise that there seems to be
no more lizzies in da hse.
ytd while roc was
playin [i think its considered playin? he was chasing it, using its paws scratchin at it.] with da lizzie, i was screaming like a mad woman. there were on my right initially, but da lizzie came crawling in my direction.
FLEE n
SCREAM. haha. i pushed myself, on e wheelie chair, away frm them, abt 4 mtrs away. haha. and i juz kept on screaming when da lizzie moved, slight movements though.
its so much scarier than watching a horror movie. why? its not as realistic as what i saw. =P.
for what happen las nite, it shall be, '
scream! da lizzie's fate'
desuetude 5:31:00 PM
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U N D E R A P P R E C I A T E D
desuetude 2:30:00 AM
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Friday, March 26, 2004
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been tired. seemingly, this is e most frequent word that meets ur eyes when u read my blog. haha
'u shld be more serious girl' i bet u noe who u r who said this to me. true enough, i haven been serious all this while. not even when i was taking my O levels. not even when i'm doing my work.
being serious, has not gotten into my soul. senseless. one main reason, im STILL having my holidays! and yes, this is e only reason.
i aint lookin forward to be in sch. i think i shld juz pursue what i really want now, since there's no need to wait. lily... u noe what i want, i noe u do. somehow, mayb i shld juz tell all this to mom n sd, to let them know what i really am. like what lily said,'i nv thot of u being someone like that.' on e outside, i seem to be a ger with bad hair day all e times, [its always in a mess] living in a world of her own, a tag on her which says 'stay away. mind your own business.' anyway, doesnt really matter. coz i noe, my appearance is juz no sweet nor pleasant. i dun give people dat warmth, dat friendliness. heck, y shld i? they don't deserve as much as some pple do.
i shall do what i want NOW. and when im so into it, i wldnt even want to continue my studies. e value of it matters. matters much to me.
if i could walk away from it, i'd walk away.
desuetude 9:52:00 AM
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Sunday, March 21, 2004
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called frm u....
things finally to a full-stop.
as for e contents, i shall keep to myself.
and so,
win is back to her old self.
desuetude 8:04:00 PM
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i feel like blogging....again.
i was thinkin abt u. things u said. shld i believe shld i not. m i driving u nuts? coz u're driving me so. u've got her and u shld juz go on with her. its so picture perfect. u her n her kid. happy family. all that u always wanted. u claimed u dun feel much for her, yet, things always change. you juz gotta wait till u're back. dun tell me all that. i noe what u are tryin to say, but i juz take it in another way. like i always do. u cant catch my mind. u nv do. it doesnt matter much now. for again, i emphasized, u've got her. its so much sooner than i thought. it doesnt matter when i called you. because, u shld know what u want. u dun need my call to change e way things are. its juz an excuse. something to make u feel better. mayb e feelings are still strong. but even if its so, there's gotta be some control. things arent e way they were before.
desuetude 3:06:00 AM
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met up with sally today. watched oh!brothers. quite a funny show. stupid, idiotic, moronic. and for da first them, i've been to da preview lounge at cine. da smallest cinema i ever been to.
goin out with sally, its like goin out with a mute. lolz. i mean, she seldom talks. only speak out when i ask her something or when she really needs to say something. duno why. at times, can tell she's juz tryin to
entertain me, but, sally, if u wana pretend, as least pretend it better? hahaha..... instead of haha, u go hur hur. see what im tryin to say? okay. im not badmouthin abt u, or e way u put it, criticise. im juz stating a matter of fact. =P
seen quite alot of pple today. people i din see for months. was nice to see them arnd. as least i noe they're doin fine.
im too lazy to blog. theres too many things to be mentioned. so everythings kept short.
desuetude 2:12:00 AM
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Friday, March 19, 2004
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im back frm my holiday. lotsa shopping again.
on my way back, i kept my eyes fixed on da window when e plane took off. i nv realised e sight and feeling of it was so beautiful. looking, im in da midst of white clouds, high above e sky. really nice. wanted to take a pic of what i see, but my camera batt's flat.
i wonder how u r doing over there. i hope everything's gd and that u will find what u really want there. perhaps, e life u wana lead, or perhaps e one u wana be with. juz something dat will keep u happy all day long. but one thing i noe, carefree is what u're feeling. no restrictions no abiding. u can speed all u want, smoke all u want n drink all u want. a brand new you i wld like to see. u noe who u r.
desuetude 11:28:00 PM
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Tuesday, March 16, 2004
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love takes on many different forms of expression. it can be as simple as a parent caning his notti child for a minor misdemeanor. or a cat swallowing her newborn kittens on e approach of an intruder. it can be even as bizarre as
Micheal Jackson professing a love for children - as long as they
share his room or bed.
there's a sixties ditty goin 'what e world needs now is love sweet love'. why e song was written is self explanatory. people cant wait to bring one another down. thats y
American Idol is so popular. dreams and grand aspirations get their five minutre air time, only to be torn down and demolished by adjectives like '
ghastly' and '
dreadful'. at work, folks snipe in ingenious ways. and we all know e famous war drama in which duelling neighbours threw dirty car water at each other. so what does it amount to ?
perhaps, part of e reason is e quiest for individual power. yes. competition is inevitable and this breeds an innate to feel superior over others. so everyone becomes embroiled in e rat race. if u have a 4-room, i'll go for an executive flat. if u have a BMW, i'll settle for a Porsche. the list goes on and on and on.
while most people are all making progress in
material acquisitions, e trade-off was our declining birth rate. e collective sound of little feet going pitter patter has grown somewhat softer. in correspondence to this, e nagging from concerned grandparents-to-be has increased in frequency and decibels.
lol. love each other people!
gimme some love!
desuetude 4:26:00 AM
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