Veracity Of Falsehood.

Tuesday, March 30, 2004
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juz finish a reg. pan pizza. was lazy to buy lunch n craving for a pizza. so i picked up da line n pressed 62353535. hah.

i read her blog n dat blog. haiz. i din expect it to be like that. shall nt elaborate.

today, i experience something i thot i wld nv have a chance to. coz normally i only see it in drama serials. usually involving a guy n a ger, and usually after that, feelings became stronger. noe what im talkin abt? haha. it is, to be trapped in da lift. lolz. but too bad, i wasnt trap with someone i was interested, but with a paranoid woman. she looks so. and she acts so. as i was standin at da side where da emergency button is, told me to press it. one funny thing is that, i din even think of pressing it? until she said so. haha. so i did, press n let go, twice. we got some response a while later. at that point of time, feel as though im filming. wahahaha. time was passin slow, we din chat, not at all. besides, i was too lazy to talk. abt 15 mins later, i got tired standing [ was wearing heels] so i moved to da back n sat down. took out my fone, played game. haha. nex things is, dat woman headed for da E button n kept pressin it. hw annoying.
i was trapped for 45 mins.

for da whole time im in office, i kept on feelin vibration, imaginary vibration. im waiting to recieve someone's msg.

desuetude 12:35:00 PM

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Monday, March 29, 2004
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im too much of an individualist to bother with true equality most of e time. in effect, independence n diversity are my hallmarks as i search for new lifestyles and fresh ways of doing things. i have little regard for tradition or authority and, although people might admire me for my radical ways, partners often find it difficult to keep up with my changing ideas n moods. i should not take on commitments n responsibilities that look likely to become burdens instead.

downright unpashable, my 'habit' is kicked.

desuetude 5:14:00 PM

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Sunday, March 28, 2004
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lookin into e mirror,
caught by surprise,
to see a face lookin back at me.
if's im someone's bad dream,
i feel sorry for them.
eventually, this dreamer would,
awaken into a sunlit world.
and i, would vanish,
like e last dark tendril of candle smoke.

desuetude 8:05:00 PM

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slpt till four plus today. awaken a few times by calls.

e hse lizzie my dog played n killed las nite is still under my computer desk. i dun dare to pick it up. i think i'll juz wait for its fellow mates to visit it, to see it till it decomposes. and i realise that there seems to be no more lizzies in da hse.

ytd while roc was playin [i think its considered playin? he was chasing it, using its paws scratchin at it.] with da lizzie, i was screaming like a mad woman. there were on my right initially, but da lizzie came crawling in my direction. FLEE n SCREAM. haha. i pushed myself, on e wheelie chair, away frm them, abt 4 mtrs away. haha. and i juz kept on screaming when da lizzie moved, slight movements though.

its so much scarier than watching a horror movie. why? its not as realistic as what i saw. =P.

for what happen las nite, it shall be, ' scream! da lizzie's fate'

desuetude 5:31:00 PM

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U N D E R A P P R E C I A T E D

desuetude 2:30:00 AM

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Friday, March 26, 2004
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been tired. seemingly, this is e most frequent word that meets ur eyes when u read my blog. haha

'u shld be more serious girl' i bet u noe who u r who said this to me. true enough, i haven been serious all this while. not even when i was taking my O levels. not even when i'm doing my work.
being serious, has not gotten into my soul. senseless. one main reason, im STILL having my holidays! and yes, this is e only reason.

i aint lookin forward to be in sch. i think i shld juz pursue what i really want now, since there's no need to wait. lily... u noe what i want, i noe u do. somehow, mayb i shld juz tell all this to mom n sd, to let them know what i really am. like what lily said,'i nv thot of u being someone like that.' on e outside, i seem to be a ger with bad hair day all e times, [its always in a mess] living in a world of her own, a tag on her which says 'stay away. mind your own business.' anyway, doesnt really matter. coz i noe, my appearance is juz no sweet nor pleasant. i dun give people dat warmth, dat friendliness. heck, y shld i? they don't deserve as much as some pple do.

i shall do what i want NOW. and when im so into it, i wldnt even want to continue my studies. e value of it matters. matters much to me.

if i could walk away from it, i'd walk away.

desuetude 9:52:00 AM

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Sunday, March 21, 2004
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called frm u....

things finally to a full-stop.

as for e contents, i shall keep to myself.

and so,
win is back to her old self.

desuetude 8:04:00 PM

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i feel like blogging....again.

i was thinkin abt u. things u said. shld i believe shld i not. m i driving u nuts? coz u're driving me so. u've got her and u shld juz go on with her. its so picture perfect. u her n her kid. happy family. all that u always wanted. u claimed u dun feel much for her, yet, things always change. you juz gotta wait till u're back. dun tell me all that. i noe what u are tryin to say, but i juz take it in another way. like i always do. u cant catch my mind. u nv do. it doesnt matter much now. for again, i emphasized, u've got her. its so much sooner than i thought. it doesnt matter when i called you. because, u shld know what u want. u dun need my call to change e way things are. its juz an excuse. something to make u feel better. mayb e feelings are still strong. but even if its so, there's gotta be some control. things arent e way they were before.

desuetude 3:06:00 AM

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met up with sally today. watched oh!brothers. quite a funny show. stupid, idiotic, moronic. and for da first them, i've been to da preview lounge at cine. da smallest cinema i ever been to.

goin out with sally, its like goin out with a mute. lolz. i mean, she seldom talks. only speak out when i ask her something or when she really needs to say something. duno why. at times, can tell she's juz tryin to entertain me, but, sally, if u wana pretend, as least pretend it better? hahaha..... instead of haha, u go hur hur. see what im tryin to say? okay. im not badmouthin abt u, or e way u put it, criticise. im juz stating a matter of fact. =P

seen quite alot of pple today. people i din see for months. was nice to see them arnd. as least i noe they're doin fine.

im too lazy to blog. theres too many things to be mentioned. so everythings kept short.

desuetude 2:12:00 AM

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Friday, March 19, 2004
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im back frm my holiday. lotsa shopping again.

on my way back, i kept my eyes fixed on da window when e plane took off. i nv realised e sight and feeling of it was so beautiful. looking, im in da midst of white clouds, high above e sky. really nice. wanted to take a pic of what i see, but my camera batt's flat.

i wonder how u r doing over there. i hope everything's gd and that u will find what u really want there. perhaps, e life u wana lead, or perhaps e one u wana be with. juz something dat will keep u happy all day long. but one thing i noe, carefree is what u're feeling. no restrictions no abiding. u can speed all u want, smoke all u want n drink all u want. a brand new you i wld like to see. u noe who u r.

desuetude 11:28:00 PM

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Tuesday, March 16, 2004
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love takes on many different forms of expression. it can be as simple as a parent caning his notti child for a minor misdemeanor. or a cat swallowing her newborn kittens on e approach of an intruder. it can be even as bizarre as Micheal Jackson professing a love for children - as long as they share his room or bed.

there's a sixties ditty goin 'what e world needs now is love sweet love'. why e song was written is self explanatory. people cant wait to bring one another down. thats y American Idol is so popular. dreams and grand aspirations get their five minutre air time, only to be torn down and demolished by adjectives like 'ghastly' and 'dreadful'. at work, folks snipe in ingenious ways. and we all know e famous war drama in which duelling neighbours threw dirty car water at each other. so what does it amount to ?

perhaps, part of e reason is e quiest for individual power. yes. competition is inevitable and this breeds an innate to feel superior over others. so everyone becomes embroiled in e rat race. if u have a 4-room, i'll go for an executive flat. if u have a BMW, i'll settle for a Porsche. the list goes on and on and on.

while most people are all making progress in material acquisitions, e trade-off was our declining birth rate. e collective sound of little feet going pitter patter has grown somewhat softer. in correspondence to this, e nagging from concerned grandparents-to-be has increased in frequency and decibels.

lol. love each other people! gimme some love!

desuetude 4:26:00 AM

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