up at 6pm. was lying on my bed. heard his voice. got our off bed only after he left. i din want to be in an awkward position. brought roc down for walk. house's empty, dark, quiet. thot she went out. found out she was hidin in e other room. she's at it again. nv thot she wld do such childish act. totally childish. wad's e point of all dis ?! it only causes more pain to everyone. all in my head is to get outta dis pathetic hse. its no longer a hse, more lyk a hotel.

i finally asked e qns at 7am. thru sms though. i juz cldnt bring myself to mouth it. there were new msgs. but none was hers. i took my bath, changed n out. i seem to enjoy a longer journey to reach a destination lately. i gez i juz want time to be alone. see e world myself. everything by myself. i find myself growing up. i took bus to town. been takin buses n trains recently, instead of my usual hang-flag, cabbie rides. mayb i want companion. mayb i want to be in crowds. mayb i find 'companion' in takin buses n trains; with many pple taking it. unlike my usual cab rides, only mi n e taxi driver.

met kel at taka. went to dine at kai kushi. wai yee served us. e food was alrite. it suited my taste, i wanted something steamed, plain, soupy. im having cough, my throat feels bad. went home by bus.

watched Linkin Park Live In Texas. superb! now i feel even more disappointed that i couldnt attend their concert in KL. if i could speak to them, i'll say:-
chester, dont u get sore throat or lose ur voice, screaming seventeen tracks, after da concert? do you know ur veins really pop out when u 'sing' ?
mike, do u know i love your rap ?!
rob, dont ur hands and legs get tired from drumming? u whacked on da drums thru out. i suppose u've got many hands n legs muscles !! but hey, u rock.
mr haan, i love your mixing. you seemed to be da most relax amongst e members of LP.
pheonix, your head looks weird.
LINKIN PARK RAWKS. you guys make great music! definitely! thumbs up.

too many things to be spoken.
too many things to be kept mumb.
heart-broken,
if only i can be numbed.
hoping u to know why im doin all these
its for your good, i promise.
please, never doubt me.
u'll only hurt me.

you know how much it hurts
you know you feel it too
you know you love me
you know i love you

desuetude 4:18:00 AM

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[wed] met up weijing n jieying for mac breakfast at harborfront. after dat went pool. called up frens who stay nearby me to come over to my place to play mahjong. borrowed mahjong set frm ju. mine's back home in m'sia. siwei n lixia came. was really fun. somehow a small gatherin with my pri sch frens. siwei n lixia went off arnd 6 plus and e rest of us went to makan. i din eat, meet kel later. saw a cat with only three feet. it has got a missing right leg... so poor thing. i bought a packet of chicken rice for it. its juz so pitiful.

took bus to town. went kinokuniya coz i noe kel will b late. msg her. she replied ' 5mins more'. i read a few books, only one chapter of each. msg her again. she replied 'almost out of office'. her five mins is lyk real long!! flipped thru a bk on leonardo di vincci's art. if only i cld draw lyk him. so detailed. marvelous. i saw mona lisa, and i started to luff to myself. my L family will noe y. lolz. after tt picked up a book on chernobyl, abt e pple's life there after e nuclear explosion. e bk consists of mainly pics of e pple, showin e mutation dat was caused by radiation. esp those who were born after e explosion. i almost cried seein all dat. im kinda emotional today. those kids, so innocent, all bcoz of da explosion, they suffered from abnormality. i think everyone shld see that bk, and u will realised how fortunate u are, even if u r poor. i dun rem e title of e bk. but its can be found under e photography section. its really worth flippin thru. she finally reached arnd 8.25. she's late for an hr plus!!!! saw jaz, bev n kai in paragon. they talked so much. my stomach was growlin, dyin for food. pushed kel away and on our way to Spagheddies. they serve really nice pastas! met up with jaz n all at lips cafe. went home arnd 11 plus.

[thurs] its raining donkeys and monkeys. chilly weather. nice! bathed rocky then myself. coping myself underneath my quilt after bath. i love e warmth. read my novel, 'one for my baby - tony parsons' . kel msged me. changed and town was where i was heading. mom drove me there. while on e way, she told me something. hurt me so much, i still haven pluck up e courage to ask her those qns. i respect her, shes my mom. and i noe my qns wld b rude n crude. she teared too. only realised it when she turned on e light to search for her wallet to give mi money. it made me wana cry out loud when i saw her tears. argh! i held back. coz i dun wana meet kel n frens with red puffy eyes.

met them at mos burgers. din control myself too well. eyes got wet again. but i managed to stop e production of more tears. drank e wrong cup of drink. wth! thot it was kel's. went to hmv. bought linkin park live in texas dvd. duno when i will have e chance to watch. mom hates those rock, head banging music. its juz loud annoying noises to her. mayb i shld bring over to kel's place on xmas. with my L family there, all of them shall watch LP with me. wahahaha i noe they will definitely hate e idea!!!

still feelin down. really duno who i can turn to. i dun wana turn to kel coz she's stress enuff. i dun wana add on to them. argh!!! its so terrible to keep them all inside. somebody save me!!

y does XY, dis pair of genes exist in dis world ? e world's definitely gona b a better place without these creatures! it wld mean there will be no reproduction. there will be no mankind ! no me, no you, no nobody!

desuetude 2:23:00 AM

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fever's gone but nt headache, dry throat. been havin those 1sec blackout. i have my balance and everythings fine after a sec or so. been slping alot. anyway, win always slps alot.

my holidae overview :
- slps at 6am or later
- wake up after 4pm
- always late when im suppose to meet a fren; waking up late.
- watch tv
- watch spongebob squarepants cartoons
- go online
- blog
- and thats it

finally i went to pick up my violin to play. played for less than 15mins. put it back to case. kept e books. zipped. everything back to da violin case. my neck ached. haha. din play on it for months. playing sucked and my violin's out of tuned. i need a tuner! plus, my nails are long! the beautiful sound of e violin was prevented. shall go to da music store soon.

nothing much to blog. nothing interesting happened today. im still sick!

desuetude 10:45:00 PM

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awaken by lai's call. told mi to get outta e hse nw coz they bought tix for 'elf' at 3.10pm. 'isnt is already 3.10?' 'yeah, juz rush down!' i dashed to da bathroom, when i got out, lai called again. told mi we are watching 'possessed' at `1745 instead. e sense of urgency ceased. haha.

mom drove me out. reached town by 1545. i realised tt it e fatest time i taken to get change and reach my destition. i only took 35 mins to get ready and to reach e place. its amazing. definitely. hehe.

patty's mom, patty n lai were sitting at spinelli. i haven went spinelli for so long. i used to frequent there alot. and im always sipping e ice tea when im there. i juz like it, esp after addin e sugar syrup. quenching. patty's mom left us, to meet patty's grandma for lunch. hmm went to order drinks with lai. we also ordered oreo cheesecake! nice. and thats e only food i've consumed for e day. weird, i always eat alot. and today, only a slice of cake! we took pics while chattin. haha. e pics are so funny. there's a vid taken while mi n lai was posing for e pic. patty switched to da wrong mode n there a veri funny vid is produced. hahaha... its e action of lai there's real funny. i'll try to link it here. ooh. patty's so sweet! she got me a skull with ribbon printed t-shirt and a skull bottle opener. haha skull of e opener reminds mi of pirates of e carribean, coz it wears a pirate hat.

shopped arnd heeren. and suddenly, we realised we were late for our movie. quickly rush towards cine. while gettin our of heeren, saw kelvin and her frens sellin e charity coupons, gave them 2 bucks and her fren tried to snatch e other 2 dollars notes dat i have. hur hur. i din take e coupon. all in my mind is to get to da cinema fast.

e show was quite boring. a veri typical plot. its abt satan reborning, possess humans. he gets onto one person, after some time, he will gets into another person. e older body dies. the doctors thot these pple died frm ebola or some other diseases. did lotsa investigation. in e end to find out dats its something tht cannot be explained by science n logic. e endin was bad. its showed e woman, who thot to be e last person to be possess by e satan as they burn her, e only way to prevent this frm spreading. she did 'died' but revived, to allow e satan to continue its survival on earth., possessing into another person. and lights on. yeah. oh, they hang e name tag of e deceased around e big toe, is it really lyk dat in real life ? its quite funny ?! name tag around e toe ?

bought a piggie wrist rest n a small bag frm hikosen cara in taka. patty too. hmm on our to get a cab frm heeren, coz e queue in taka was extremely long, we saw e dirty old man. he really needs to do some cleaning. he looks filthy. he was in pants 'buttoned' by safety pins n his shirt had stains. he asked us how to get to simei. told him to take train. he said he was out of breath, juz come out frm an operation. then patty told mi to take bus 7 coz he said e mrt station is far n tt he has breathing difficulties. he raised his voice n said its out of e way. i was thinkin, so he does noe e direction n y is he askin us? it strucked me tt his purpose is to get some money frm us, waiting for us to ask him to get a cab and he'll said he's penniless, and we'll gave it to him. ironically, he scolded us, asked us to shut up, dun say when we dont know. haha. it just makes me laugh. i duno why. if u noe, y do u ask then? and i suppose im right abt his intention.

-pics uploaded- [open ur eyes ---- 051203]

desuetude 4:18:00 AM

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woke up at 1400. quickly bathe change n out. meetin kel kel at 1430. mom said uncle johnny will drive us out. den she told mi to go to da bank to do some stuffs. while she will do hers in another bank. patience running out. i duno y pple take such a long time to withdraw or to put it da $ . quickly rush to meet kel.

i was in a foul mood due to e waiting in da bank n insufficient hours of slp. i onli slept for almost 4 hrs. dats pathetic. was really happy to see kel. seems lyk i haven see her for veri long. she's always busy with work. workaholic. i got my fav rhumba frap. frm starbucks, hopin e cafeine will perk me up. we walked arnd in raffles city. i bought 2 novels frm mph. i gez they will be gd read. after dat went to funan. i wana go there to buy ink cartridges n photo papers, n kel wana go n try e vietnamese rest. its called VIETRO. reminds me of centro. haha. e food aint really nice. mine was okay. i ordered some beef noodles and for kel, she had dis er i 4get wad it is. its erm... soup with beef too. but e soup tasted sour n spicy. not bad. but i drank water immediately after i tried e soup. haha. i took pics of e food. i juz got nothin better to do. i think kel was kinda embarrassed ? hahaha. i dunch care. and im not doin anything illegal. yepz. she was 'engulfing' e food when they were served. haha. she simply ignored me when i talked to her or asked her qns. her replys did not require her to move her tongues, lyk hmm. haha. her concentration wasnt me but e food. anyone who noes her will noe how she eats. lolz. esp her bros. and when she did talk, she talked abt e food, lyk e taste of it n all. its juz all abt e food.

went challenger. got wad i want. saw a comp design i really like. but e brand is such stranger to me. my dearie said its some taiwanese brand. its starts with M. anyone knows a computer brand starts with M ? after tt i wanted to get those paper rings. and kel n i were argueing whether we shld go up or down in order to go to da stationary shop. she din believe me dat it was a level below where we were. coz she thinks im non-streetwise ? or something ? haha. but i was right , or mayb for once i was rite ? lalala. she was told she din have to go n work. went swensen's. kel wana eat ice cream. such a pig! but e call came juz rite when we were decidin wad to order. bad news. she had to go for wrk. left swensens.

decided to walked down boat quay, towards home since it was 15 mins b4 kel had to report for wrk.she was suppose to wrk in chinatown area, somewhere near where we were at. took pics of her while we were walking. e pics turn out quite nice. with e movements effects. saw a lady walkin her dog. i lyk e dog. so i took e pic of it without permission. haha. she lyks my camera. its nice to her. its nice to me too. haha. had a short conversation with her abt e cam. e pic of her dog was veri blurred. deleted them away. regret!!

while walkin, i decided to take pic of da moon. there was dis taxi in front of us. and e driver was smiling at me. i think he must b thinkin tt im insane, idiotic or wad. hahaha. hmm. kel insisted to sent me home when i thot of droppin her off since she was late n on my way home. nice gf i have. =].

got home. she left her fags in my bag. called her. e taxi driver u turn. she was giving me those grinny smiles when she left. she nv did tt to me but only to rocky, when she sees him.

i had a great day. real happy too. she made mi laugh. i made her laugh. we love each other's companion. wad more can i ask ?

-pics uploaded- [open ur eyes ---- 041203]

desuetude 12:28:00 AM

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had been noticing e sleeping postures of tor tor n titise. so cute. now, they are side by side. its a rare sight. usually they are on diff ends of da tank. titise is still e same size when i got it. tor tor gew quite alot. titise slp with its head stickin out. i wonder if it feels tired.

aint got e mood to blog. too many thots. everything will be ok when im awake. i hope. =\

desuetude 5:55:00 AM

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ytd [mon] i slpt early. went to jb in da late afternn. went shopping. wads new? haha. hmm, wasnt feelin veri well, had flu and headache. when we were at e custom in jb, my mom stopped her car so far away frm da opening, where im suppose to gave da whoever e passports, that i have to crawl outta da car window?! oh well, even da whoever who checks da passports laughed at me. i slpt after that, real tired. came back home. ignored rocky, changed, and slp.

woke up at 4 plus in da afternn. goodness, slpt for abt 18 hrs. haven had long hours of slp. it was definitely a gd slp. but rocky's jumping up n down e bed kinda irritated me. and also when he slpt so close to me, his body heat....urgh!

got outta my room. saw mom. she said, 'i've got a christmas present for u. something dat u like. its in da kitchen.' i knew its definitely something dat i utterly detest. and guess wad i saw? i saw a dead pale translucent house lizard on da basin. mom told mi she felt it when she was takin out something in da fridge. aww.. luckily im not da one who touched. i wld have scream till i lose my voice n cry ! hahaha... disgusting creatures. i took a pic of it though. haha. it took me alot of courage to do it. even though its dead!!


haha. hows it ? nice pic? lol

i suffered when i was havin my dinner. i cried. now, guess again, why did i cry? i used a spoon that had some soy sauce, with chilli in a sauce dish, to drink my soup. and damn, i got choked. e area around my throat. e feelin was terrible. and its was so spicy. worse than tom yam soup. i downed my iced tea, no help though. it got unbearable. tears welled up my eyes. e restaurant served food that are spicy. hmm no, not e food, its e spices. e chilli and e ginger. that are extremely hot. i wonder where they got these spices from. i've nv tasted such spicy chilli that make mi choke till i tear. no, its not those chilli padi. i hope i will nv dine there again!

desuetude 4:03:00 AM

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